A friend recently asked us: My friend is likely to be either ENFJ or ESTP. How do I discern between the two?
Some simple tips:
ENFJs often take on a teacher / preacher / community organiser role.
ESTPs often take on a smooth operator / salesman / alpha male role.
ENFJ: Blanket of approval and emotional warmth as long as you two are on the same side. Coherence in their overall tone. Tangible appreciation of people around them. You get the sense that they care about you as a person.
ESTP: Flashy, putting on a show, a series of opinions and facts that are incoherent but all point back to how the person is smoother and smarter than everyone else. They often give off a sense that they are ‘going places’ and that if you stick with them, you’ll be going places too. ENFJs care about you as a person, for your own sake. ESTP cares about you for the function you could fill in their life or social cirle.
If they compliment you, ENFJ will often compliment you for you personality; ESTPs for your utility.
These are just rules of thumb, but a good place to start.