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Common Side Effects Test

Which Side Effects character are you?

Common Side Effects plunges you into a world of corporate conspiracies, government cover-ups, and miracle mushrooms. Whether you quietly distrust big systems like Marshall Cuso, navigate corporate chaos like Frances Applewhite, or enforce the rules like Agent Copano, everyone has a unique way of handling pressure.

Take this quiz to find out which Common Side Effects character you resemble the most.

Question 1 of 35

I combine my passion for work with eccentric habits.

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The Common Side Effects Test is inspired by psychometric methodology and based on research into the characters of the animated series. The test provides feedback such as the following:

Agent Harrington

Agent Harrington is a goofy but pragmatic DEA agent who tries to balance professional duty with an easygoing nature. She values team loyalty and prefers to follow official procedures. She maintains a cheerful attitude at work, but her lighthearted exterior hides a sharp mind. Her main contradiction lies in her desire to trust the system while possessing a strong moral conscience. When her superiors try to sweep corruption under the rug, she initially retreats to the safety of rules. However, she eventually pivots to principled defiance when forced to choose between compliance and protecting others. She is a loyal partner who observes far more than people assume.

Frances Applewhite

Frances Applewhite is the practical, overworked executive assistant at Reutical who finds herself caught between corporate survival and a massive medical conspiracy. She is driven by a deep desire to secure financial stability and care for her ailing mother. This urgent need for safety forces her to tolerate an incompetent boss and make questionable compromises. However, her loyalty to her former lab partner, Marshall, and her growing awareness of a suppressed miracle cure challenge her cautious nature. She tends to overthink risks and act as the grounded voice of reason. Though she initially avoids confrontation, she possesses a delayed courage that surfaces when she is pushed past her limits.

Cecily

Cecily is a ruthless and highly competent government official who serves as a powerful enforcer within the national security apparatus. She approaches complex human problems as simple logistical tasks, using her institutional authority to manage crises and eliminate threats without letting personal feelings interfere. Her core motive is to remain indispensable to those in power, yet this absolute dedication to professional ruthlessness creates a deep contradiction. While she projects flawless control and strategic brilliance, she equates any form of vulnerability with weakness, isolating herself emotionally. She handles pressure by doubling down on cold, calculated force, choosing the armor of her career over empathy.

Jonas Backstein

Jonas Backstein is a powerful Swiss financier and pharmaceutical board member who orchestrates ruthless schemes from behind the safety of a corporate desk. He justifies his cold, calculating decisions as necessary measures to protect the global order, but his true motive is preserving his own immense wealth and influence. He avoids direct physical confrontation, preferring to use corporate proxies and government officials to eliminate threats to his bottom line. When his plans face resistance, his polished, statesmanlike exterior quickly cracks to reveal a deep-seated cowardice. He maintains formal, distant relationships, choosing the safety of sycophants over genuine human connection.

Agent Copano

Agent Copano is a cynical DEA investigator who uses dry humor to cope with a corrupt system. He is driven by a dogged need to uncover the truth, even when his superiors try to bury his findings. While others dismiss his elaborate theories as mere paranoia, his sharp eye for hidden patterns usually points to real institutional rot. He acts detached and sarcastic, but he cares deeply about genuine justice. He relies on a close partner to ground him and help him navigate the bureaucracy. He uses gallows humor to handle the frustration of being right when no one else wants to listen.

Hildy

Hildy is an eccentric mycologist mentor who combines brilliant scientific passion with a deeply cynical worldview. She guides younger researchers while secretly pursuing her own extreme, high-risk plans for the rare Blue Angel mushroom. Though she genuinely cares about scientific discovery, her profound disillusionment with corrupt institutions has twisted her idealism into a dangerous, self-directed nihilism. She completely rejects conventional rules and standard medical methods, preferring to design complex gambits to achieve her goals. She forms intense mentoring bonds with her students, yet she is willing to cross ethical lines and weaponize her findings, treating other people as pieces in her personal legacy.

Marshall Cuso

Marshall Cuso is an off-the-grid fungal researcher who wants to protect a miracle cure from corporate greed. He is driven by deep moral idealism and a desire to help vulnerable people. However, his noble intentions often clash with his complete lack of conventional social skills. He is deeply skeptical of authority and prefers to live on the margins of society. While he is highly resourceful and brilliant at improvising when cornered, his tendency to act on impulse without a clear plan repeatedly lands him in dangerous situations. He struggles to form easy connections, bonding deeply with only a select few who can handle his intense, paranoid focus.

Common Side Effects Test

Why Use This Test?

1. Free. The Common Side Effects Test is provided free of charge and lets you compare your answers with characters in the series.

2. Everyday self-report. The questions translate the cast's struggles with corporate bureaucracy, ethical compromises, and institutional paranoia into practical scenarios you face in your own life.

3. For entertainment and reflection. The result is meant for fan comparison and self-reflection, not diagnosis or formal assessment.