“Why Are You Still Single?” Test

Being single is often treated as though it has one obvious explanation. In reality, people remain single for many different reasons, and those reasons can involve circumstances, preferences, interpersonal skills, emotional habits, or simply the way a person has chosen to organize their life. Someone who rarely meets potential partners faces a very different situation from someone who dates frequently but rejects most available options. Likewise, a person who strongly values independence may have little in common with someone who wants a relationship but hesitates because of previous hurt.

The Why Are You Still Single? Test was developed to distinguish between these different pathways. It draws on a series of peer-reviewed studies led by psychologist Menelaos Apostolou of the University of Nicosia, whose research has examined why people report being single and which psychological and behavioral characteristics are associated with remaining single. Across this research program, factors such as choosiness, flirting ability, mating effort, fear of commitment, fear of being hurt, perceived desirability, and competing life priorities have repeatedly emerged as relevant to singlehood.

Rather than assuming that one factor explains everyone’s relationship status, this test organizes these themes into seven broad dimensions: Selectivity, Exposure, Courtship, Desirability, Avoidance, Guardedness, and Priorities. Each represents a different possible obstacle, preference, or circumstance that can influence whether romantic relationships develop.

Some of these dimensions concern opportunity. A person may simply meet relatively few potential partners or devote little time to dating. Others concern interaction: Someone can have plenty of social contact but find flirting, signaling attraction, or moving an interaction toward romance difficult. Still other dimensions reflect what happens when a relationship becomes possible. High standards can narrow the pool of acceptable partners, while discomfort with commitment or fear of emotional injury can make closeness harder to pursue.

Importantly, not every reason for being single should be interpreted as a deficit. Remaining single can reflect strong personal priorities, independence, or unwillingness to enter relationships that do not meet one’s standards. Conversely, some factors may identify areas where a person’s intentions and behavior are working against each other. Someone may strongly want a partner while rarely meeting new people, or desire intimacy while becoming guarded whenever emotional risk appears.

For this reason, the test is designed as a profile rather than a verdict. Most people are likely to show a mixture of several influences, and the relative pattern across dimensions is generally more informative than any single score.

The test should not be interpreted as a clinical assessment or as proof that any particular characteristic has caused a person to be single. Relationships are influenced by chance, culture, life stage, location, opportunity, and the behavior of other people, none of which can be fully captured by a questionnaire. Instead, the results are intended to provide a structured way of thinking about the different forces that may shape a person’s romantic circumstances and the areas that may, or may not, be within their control.

References

• Apostolou, M. (2017). Why people stay single: An evolutionary perspective. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 263–271. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.02.034
• Apostolou, M., Papadopoulou, I., Christofi, M., & Vrontis, D. (2019). Mating performance: Assessing flirting skills, mate signal-detection ability, and shyness effects. Evolutionary Psychology, 17(3). https://doi.org/10.1177/1474704919872416
• Apostolou, M., O, J., & Esposito, G. (2020). Singles’ reasons for being single: Empirical evidence from an evolutionary perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 746. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00746
• Apostolou, M. (2021). Involuntary singlehood and its causes: The effects of flirting capacity, mating effort, choosiness and capacity to perceive signals of interest. Personality and Individual Differences, 176, Article 110782. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.110782
• Apostolou, M., Birkás, B., da Silva, C. S. A., Esposito, G., Hsu, R. M. C. S., Jonason, P. K., Karamanidis, K., O, J., Ohtsubo, Y., Putz, á., Sznycer, D., Thomas, A. G., Valentova, J. V., Varella, M. A. C., Kleisner, K., Flegr, J., & Wang, Y. (2021). Reasons of singles for being single: Evidence from Brazil, China, Czech Republic, Greece, Hungary, India, Japan and the UK. Cross-Cultural Research, 55(4), 319–350. https://doi.org/10.1177/10693971211021816
• Apostolou, M., Sullman, M., Birkás, B., Błachnio, A., Bushina, E., Calvo, F., Costello, W., Dujlovic, T., Hill, T., Lajunen, T. J., Lisun, Y., Manrique-Millones, D., Manrique-Pino, O., Meskó, N., Nechtelberger, M., Ohtsubo, Y., Ollhoff, C. K., Przepiórka, A., Putz, á., ... Font-Mayolas, S. (2023). Mating performance and singlehood across 14 nations. Evolutionary Psychology, 21(1). https://doi.org/10.1177/14747049221150169
• Apostolou, M., & Michaelidou, E. (2024). Why people face difficulties in attracting mates: An investigation of 17 probable predictors of involuntary singlehood. Personality and Individual Differences, 216, Article 112422. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2023.112422