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Wholesome Partner Test

Are you wholesome or toxic as a partner?

As psychologists have mapped out the patterns common to healthy and unhealthy relationships, it is becoming increasingly obvious that some people are good “partner material” while others struggle with trauma or dark traits that end up impeding their relationships.

This test is based on the work of clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD., and will attempt to assess across 8 different domains whether you are toxic or wholesome as a partner.

Are you toxic or wholesome as a partner? For each of the following statements, indicate your level of agreement below.

Question 1 of 40

I trust that my partner will listen to my vulnerabilities without judging me.



The IDRlabs Healthy Partner Test (IDR-HPT) was developed by IDRlabs. The IDR-HPT is based on the work of Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, who wrote the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents. The IDR-HPT is not associated with any specific researchers in the field of personality psychology, counseling psychology, or any affiliated research institutions.

The test provides feedback such as the following: Sincerity: Partners who are true to themselves are aware that they need to serve themselves as well as their partner in a relationship. They share what they think and feel in sensitive and upright ways; they allow their partner to react to them without putting stress on the bond the two partners share. They tend to stand up for their values since they see authenticity as vital for living in a genuine and satisfying relationship.

Empathy: Individuals who sustain and appreciate emotional connections usually pay attention to their partners, communicate openly, and do their best to strengthen the bond that holds partners together in a relationship. They understand that intimacy facilitates a form of well-being that is beyond physical attraction or surface-level conversation.

Reasonability: People who have reasonable expectations for themselves and their partners are aware of their limits and abilities, as well as those of others. As partners, they tend to have an appropriate and mature understanding of what is possible and impossible in their relationships. Also, this characteristic reflects healthy self-esteem since it entails being honest with oneself and respecting the limitations involved in a relationship.

Communication: Partners who communicate clearly and actively seek to emphasize the essence of two-way conversations and appropriately express their needs while respecting the needs of others. They may tend to use “I statements” and accept responsibility for their own feelings. They are also often careful to pick the appropriate time and words for conveying their wants.

The IDRlabs Healthy Partner Test was informed by the work of Dr. Gibson and the diagnostic criteria reflected in her book, published as Gibson, L.C. (2015). “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents”. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. The present test is intended for educational purposes only. IDRlabs and the present IDRlabs Healthy Partner Test are independent of the above researchers, organizations, or their affiliated institution.

The IDRlabs Healthy Partner Test is based on a famous and well-regarded book that discusses the importance of emotional maturity and behaving appropriately regarding relationships. However, free online tests and quizzes such as this one are solely first takes and cannot provide accurate assessments of your potential attitude. Hence, the test is intended to be used for educational purposes only. A definitive personality, attitude, or relationship assessment can be made only by a qualified pertinent professional.

As the publishers of this free online Healthy Partner Test, which allows you to screen yourself for the characteristics and manifestations of your behavior as a partner, we have striven to make the test as reliable and valid as possible by subjecting it to statistical controls and validation. However, free online quizzes such as the present Healthy Partner Test do not provide professional assessments or recommendations of any kind; the test is provided entirely “as-is.” For more information about any of our online tests and quizzes, please consult our Terms of Service.

Why Use This Test?

1. Free. This Healthy Partner Test is delivered to you free of charge and will allow you to obtain your scores related to being realistic and reliable, respectful and reciprocal, responsive, willing to ask for help, and true to yourself as well as to sustaining and appreciating emotional connections, having reasonable expectations, and communicating clearly.

2. Clinically oriented. The feedback delivered by this instrument is based on the work of a Doctor of Psychology and is designed to deliver a clear clinical picture of the respondent’s current traits indicating emotional maturity and behaving appropriately regarding relationships as measured according to standardized items.

3. Statistical controls. Statistical analysis of the test is conducted to ensure maximum accuracy and validity of the test scores.

4. Made by professionals. The present test has been made with the input of people who work professionally with psychology and individual differences research.