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Academically Reviewed

Based on the research of D. C. Jack (1992).

Self-Silencing Test (STSS)

Do you silence your needs and feelings in close relationships?

Relationships often require compromise, but consistently hiding your feelings or prioritizing others at your own expense can lead to self-silencing.

Based on research by D. C. Jack (1991) and the Silencing the Self Scale (STSS), this assessment measures self-silencing across key psychological dimensions, including self-sacrifice, external judgment, and inner division.

How much do you suppress your true voice to maintain harmony? To take the test, enter your input below.

Question 1 of 31

Considering my needs to be as important as those of the people I love is selfish.

Disagree
Agree

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D. C. Jack introduced the Silencing the Self Scale (STSS) in 1991 to examine how cultural and relational pressures lead individuals to suppress their own thoughts, feelings, and needs. Originally developed to explore psychological distress and depression in women within intimate relationships, subsequent empirical research has demonstrated that self-silencing occurs across gender lines, diverse age groups, and various social contexts. Jack posited that cultural schemas surrounding love and intimacy often encourage people to believe that maintaining connections requires putting themselves last, suppressing anger, and concealing disagreements to avoid conflict, rejection, or emotional abandonment.

This test profiles four distinct facets of self-silencing as experienced in daily life. Externalized Self-Perception reflects judging your self-worth primarily through the eyes of others and striving to meet external standards of perfection. Care as Self-Sacrifice describes the belief that genuine caring requires placing another person's needs entirely above your own, viewing personal desires as inherently selfish or harmful to the relationship. Silencing the Self involves actively holding back your opinions and authentic feelings in intimate relationships to preserve peace and prevent disagreement. Divided Self captures the quiet internal tension between presenting a compliant, agreeable exterior while inwardly feeling angry, rebellious, or disconnected from your real identity.

Research utilizing the STSS reveals that self-silencing carries substantial consequences for individual psychological health and relational quality. Studies consistently indicate that high scores on self-silencing correlate with elevated psychological distress, lower self-esteem, emotional exhaustion, and higher rates of depressive symptoms. When individuals repeatedly conceal their authentic feelings to prevent interpersonal friction, relational conflict does not vanish; instead, it turns inward. Over time, hiding one's genuine self erodes authentic intimacy, as relationships built on unexpressed emotions and suppressed conflict often foster quiet resentment and emotional distance rather than genuine closeness.

The population comparison markers displayed alongside your chart provide an estimated reference point rescaled from published research samples utilizing the STSS. In general adult population samples, typical overall scores tend to land near 42% on the self-silencing continuum. Please note that these markers are rough population estimates derived from published academic studies rather than validated percentile norms or standardized rankings for this specific web assessment, so you should treat them as a loose baseline for contextual reflection rather than a definitive ranking of where you stand.

Self-silencing is not a permanent personality trait or a clinical diagnosis, but rather a set of learned relational habits and cognitive beliefs that can change over time. Learning how you navigate personal boundaries, articulate needs, and handle interpersonal conflict can help you identify areas where honest communication might replace quiet compliance. Recognizing these behavioral patterns is often an important first step toward cultivating authentic relationships where both individuals feel heard, respected, and supported without having to erase their own identity.

This test is provided strictly for educational and self-reflection purposes only. It is not a diagnostic instrument and cannot diagnose any mental health condition or relationship disorder. The assessment is based on the Silencing the Self Scale (STSS) but uses its own original items and is not affiliated with D. C. Jack or her academic institutions. If you find that self-silencing is causing significant emotional distress or ongoing strain in your close relationships, consider speaking with a qualified mental health professional for personalized support and guidance.

References

  • Jack, D. C., & Dill, D. (1992). The Silencing the Self Scale: Schemas of Intimacy Associated With Depression in Women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 16(1), 97-106.

Self-Silencing Test (STSS)

Why Use This Test?

1. Free. This Self-Silencing Test is provided free of charge with immediate scoring.

2. How it works. You rate statements about your feelings and behavior in relationships, and your answers are scored on the instrument's published scales.

3. Know its limits. This test is a self-report snapshot designed for personal reflection, not a clinical assessment or psychological diagnosis.